Nothing can go smoothly when it comes to unknown conditions. Especially lots of them, not just one. Conditions that are just recently starting to be studied, looked at.
Even so, things were falling into place. Apartment booked, airplane tickets purchased.
The timing of the surgery was perfect. It was going to fall over spring break. My mother in law who would be watching the boys would only have to take a week off. Trevor would only be with me two weeks.
I would joke Barcelona, or bust. God no doubt was in control of every part of this journey. So many times He had shown us that. He laid it out in perfect timing. What could go wrong?
Well, something did go wrong.
It was two weeks out from flying to Barcelona, when a pandemic broke out worldwide. Everything was shut down. Travel, small businesses, school and most working from home.
It was the weekend we moved. Our house had gone under contract and closed in the perfect timing to pay for this surgery. How could everything line up so perfectly for me to get an email saying the surgery had been postponed with no idea when it would be rescheduled. I was devastated to say the least.
I felt like God had friend zoned me. Like He’d strung me a long. Everything lining up perfect to have it all fall apart right before. Like I’d be drug along and then “oh, just kidding”.
It felt like it was all a dream and then I woke up to this. I had so many emotions to navigate. It was a lot for any adult let alone a young child.
My children had gone through so much. Moving into a one bedroom apartment. Their room was now a family room with two bunk beds, a couch, toys, and a tv.
The same weekend the schools did a soft closure and they began schooling from home. I began teaching them. It was so difficult, my lack of ability to focus my mind, to drown out my daily migraines, to show up to zoom calls and keep reading with them each day.
Two weeks of closure turned into a month. Which turned into two and ended with the entire last quarter of school being done from my bed.
My children were struggling. Not just with motivation to learn but with their mental health. There was so much change.
Mom was going to Spain, now she’s not. I had a house, my own space, now I don’t. I had a routine, school, an outlet, now I don’t.
It pained me to see one of my children specifically struggle more than others. The panic attacks, anxiety, depression. Why did he have to struggle in this area like me? I hope that with everything I’ve been through with my mental health that I can at least teach him healthy tools at a young age.
Then I got a call. It was from the surgeons office. They had me put down tentatively on the schedule. I just had to be able to find flights.
Things weren’t so straight forward this time around. There were hoops to jump through. I needed to find a third person willing to come take care of me after my husband went home because my mother wasn’t comfortable traveling during covid with high risk husband, a choice I completely respect and understand.
God brought to mind a few people to ask. He guided me through every complication and I felt peaceful and not stressed through most of it.
A week before leaving I got notified that all of our flights had been canceled. They weren’t letting American Airlines into Europe anymore.
I spent four hours on hold for the line to drop. Another two after that before it was 9:30 at night and I gave up. The next morning they had changed the system and made it much more efficient. I was able to get a hold of the airline and get new flights booked. Unfortunately this time it would be 3 flights, 22 hrs of travel and wouldn’t be so straight forward.