The sane goes ‘time flies when you’re having fun’ or ‘don’t blink or you’ll miss it.’ You may have heard the days are long but the years are short. Cherish it because he’s your last.
All these things just drove me crazy to hear instead. When my youngest was born I just wished he could be 5. Please let me blink and you’ll be 5!
The days were long and the years even longer. Today though you are 5. I feel like we have arrived. We made it. I know I have felt this many times over the years as we overcame trials and demons together. You and I will always hold a unique bond as the boy who came through the other side of my postpartum psychosis. In the words of the famous J.K. Rowling- The boy who lived.
Though I didn’t share for many years how I struggled with that feeling I did. It’s a topic that holds a lot of shame and guilt and I understand why as I have lived it. I’d never be a mother to hurt my children, in fact I have a very attached parenting style. It goes to show how hard and dark these demons can be.
This was not the way I imagined this blog post would go… Sometimes the words just flow. Perhaps someone needs to hear that they are not alone. It doesn’t make you a bad mom, it means you just need help and that there is postpartum mental health illness needing to be addressed.
My postpartum psychosis nearly took so much from my family. I thank God everyday that I am still here to see these boys grow up.
*if you are in crisis please go to the nearest emergency room
*postpartum support international has a hotline for mothers needing to talk to someone-
Call 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD)
#1 En Español or #2 English
Text in English: 800-944-4773
Text en Español: 971-203-7773
*National Suicide Prevention- call 988
Mother Hidden 