I’m reading back through my journal. I’m so glad I kept one so detailed through my journey. I came across my struggle of owning my story. It’s funny how sometimes when you look back you don’t remember things to be as hard as they really were.
So much of owning my story was breaking through the shame I felt. How do you break through shame though?
There is no one size fits all when it comes to working through shame. It was definitely not an over night or even a week long process. It was over months. Honestly, I never thought I’d be so open about my journey or feel the need to speak up.
My first step of breaking through shame was writing what I was ashamed of in my journal. I have pages of lists of things I was ashamed of through my youngest first 2 years of life and mothers (and fathers) you’re most likely going to look back at any point of parenting and not like how you handled things. It may make you feel guilty or maybe ashamed but I bet you’re not the only one. It means you love your child and want to do better by them.
After writing in my journal I had to be brave enough to speak it out loud in a safe environment. That may be a spouse, friend, support group, or in my case in the four walls of my therapist office. It’s important whoever you tell holds no judgment and can be a listening ear for you.
After talking about it in therapy I did quite a few sessions of EMDR. My postpartum psychosis, to be followed by postpartum PTSD was more then I could process on my own. I am so grateful for EMDR.
I’m grateful I felt a nudge to start this blog. I’m glad I was brave enough to put the work in to find healing in my journey. It takes courage. I know you have that courage within you because you’re still here fighting everyday. Whatever your battle is. Keep pressing on and remember you have 100% success rate of surviving the worst days.